long. ranting. if you think this is about you and not just a critique it probably is.

just a reminder that not everyone you see not wearing a mask is an asshole. yes, #WearAMask because #CovidIsNotOver is great and the by and large incentive for everyone.

but not all #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic people can do enough densensitisation and exposure therapy and graduated trials to be able to get to the point of wearing a mask. other diagnoses too, certain individuals with PTSD (which I also have). there are, what I am saying, legitimate reasons to not be able to wear a mask.

I was able to adjust to a gaiter during the beginning of the pandemic, when anything was better than nothing. it didn't put pressure on my nose and it wasn't tight over my face. alas, those aren't actually sufcicient.

I can tolerate a paper surgical mask for about 10 to 15 minutes before I'm incredibly distressed, overwhelmed, and going into either meltdown or shutdown depending upon the day.

I can wear a KN95 mask for about five minutes and it still requires me to be medicated with Xanax in order to tolerate the sensation on my face and the trauma memories from last… everything overwhelms me and I end up dissociated and screaming. no matter about whether I'm in my thrift nrrand yes,that's with meds. my be the best I've done with a KN95 is about half an hour or so.

I've tried so hard to mask.

and while I'm in recovery and remission from polysubstance use disorder, Xanax is not the solution.

so take your judgment and shove it back down your throat, or up your ass, or get the fuck away from me because your solutions leave me and mine and people in my situation as acceptable casualties, when in fact wear a mask is meant to protect people like me if enough of the sheeple would actually do it.

in order to have success in your exhortations you need to be a little bit more careful about what your messaging actually is, and who you're targeting, and who is going to actually see it and be impacted by it.

I still go to the absolute farthest place from people who aren't masking. I don't go anywhere if I'm actively sick but Gxd only knows how many times I've actually had COVID since half of the confirmed tests were because I had something I was going to and wanted to exercise precautions; I got it without it being immediately symptomatic.

and I've got long COVID from 3 (or more) asymptomatic infections and one pretty nasty round through it last October. I know the consequences of not masking.

but what I don't have is the economic privilege to stay home. my spouse is disabled too. we need food. we need to go to appointments, and due to medical needs and hearing loss. I need to do things at school. I need to do things with the department of rehabilitation.

so shove your trite bullshit where the sun don't shine.

"Viral Modernism: The Influenza Pandemic and Interwar Literature" by Elizabeth Outka

Have you wondered too: why is covid barely visible in modern media? Why do I never pick up a book with someone wearing a mask, even though it's 2020 in the story? Why do I watch tv shows set in 2021 and they act like everything is fine? I have to dig deep for any text that dares to mention the unmentionable (ongoing) SARSCoV2 pandemic, and that really bothers me.

Turns out this is not a rare phenomenon. The same happened after Spanish Flu a full century ago. This book from 2019 digs into the why of it, and then goes on to analyze the presence of the 1918 pandemic in the very few books that did mention it.

The book is divided into three parts. Part one zooms in on 'why?'. Why was the flu silenced in literature? Why was it such a taboo? Even if you're not interested in reading the rest of this book, this part is worth it if you've been wondering the same. It has some interesting theories. Partly the war overshadowed the pandemic. But partly it's also a problem of a lack of language and narrative. War is easy to explain: us, the goodies, fight a 'them', the baddies, and someone wins. But a virus is invisible and not well-understood. The 'enemy' doesn't invade from the outside, but spreads throughout your loved ones, penetrates your body and blurs all the lines of who's what. There was a lot of guilt about participation and ignorance. On top of the grief, there's a societal view of sickness as weakness, and of caring and ill health with femininity, which didn't help. I won't recap all of the book here, but it was a fascinating read to see why the pandemic was hidden in media, and how so much can be applied to the current times too. Plus there were lots of archival pictures that I'd never seen before!

In part 2 several books from around that era are discussed and the role of the pandemic in the story is analyzed. I was afraid that it might be too academic for me, but it was quite readable. Most notably I've gotten a more negative view of Virginia Woolf. Although she was one of the few acknowledging sickness in her literature, she also minimized Spanish Flu in daily life, not wanting to engage with it. I was also surprised to see 'look to windward' appear, which I've only known as a quote on war through Bank's books. And wow, the amount of 'living dead' analogies that pop up, interesting stuff.

Part 3 goes into two major trends that became popular post-pandemic: spiritualism and zombie tales. Both are forms of the dead coming back, one for mourning and peace of mind, the other for an outlet for fear and anger. I got quite upset reading about seances where ghosts of flu victims return to earth to exonerate their families from guilt of infection, hmpf. Either way, I thought it was engrossing. In hindsight, it all makes sense, and it helps me understand the way people behave now.

At the end the book states that we're not ready for a new pandemic, although we could be, if only we'd look reality in the eyes and prepare well. Covid started and... here we are. Millions dead, many more millions chronically ill, ableism abound, covid still around and mutating. And probably more pandemics coming at us in the near future. Every day I feel stronger about not letting this truth go unsaid. It's uncomfortable, but more tragedies will occur if the majority of people keep avoiding unpleasant realities. Don't look away, don't underestimate yourself -you can bear it and do your part to keep the people around you safe and well.

As the book says: "Reading the letters and stories told by the survivors of the pandemic —and the literary representations that simultaneously revealed and hid these very stories— launch us into new narrative streams, allowing us to hear voices long ignored in part because the viral, dust-like form at the heart of the story was itself invisible and silent."

I'm adding this book under #PlagueBook and I've also gone back and tagged all previous books that talk about pandemics that I've reviewed with that too (in a tiny effort to not lose these works into silence once again). You can view them all here:

https://c.im/@reading_recluse/tagged/PlagueBook

Please stay safe and #WearAMask !